Hate Mail. He Made Me Do It

[stephbg]

John Scalzi recently urged his prodigious readership at Whatever to submit new hate mail for inclusion in an upcoming book. As you do. I wasn't planning to enter, but the damn man kept publishing deadline reminders until I snapped, or my sleeping pills started to kick in. Possibly both. This has perhaps put me at a disadvantage at entry #185, but, you know, Whatever(tm). I reproduce my hastily scribed words below.



Mr Scalzi
It has come to my attention that you are seeking negative commentary or so-called “hate mail” from your current readers and fan base. It is clear that this is a transparent attempt to disguise any real literary analysis of your work with which you disagree. Mine, for instance.

You, sir, mistake the mere mechanical ability to wield grammar for true talent. Your alleged “characters” have fewer dimensions than a single point in time and space. Your laughable universe is as paltry as the fuzz covering both the inside and outside of your skull. The font selections of your publishers reveal personality traits normally of interest only to certain specialist units of the FBI. Your gratuitous use of non-standard characters in your titles indicates a lack of respect for the decent standard-English-keyboard-wielding peoples of the Earth that borders on malicious evil. DEMON! DEMON!!

And you smell funny.

Warm Regards etc

Comments

[transcendancing.livejournal.com]

heeee!!!!

[wolflullaby.livejournal.com]

*lol* Your hatemail is delectable.

I think actually requesting that your readers write hatemail is hilarious. I suppose it give you lots of humorous, intelligent, non-serious mean comments to read, and then when you get actual hatemail I imagine the effect would be greatly lessened.