It's happening

[stephbg]

Cally's final appointment made with Dr Laura tomorrow at 10:15am. Second of its type in under a month. Third in under 18 months. Fuck. Thanks everyone for your kind words over on FB.

Cally herself has made the timing of the decision relatively easy - she's had enough. I'm a wreck, even more so than for the others. She's been a huge part of my life for 20 years, and I've always been her one and only human. 20 years! I've spent more time with her than with any person, Husband included. She's drawn significantly more of my blood than Husband has too. People started telling me to prepare for her loss seven years ago when she was a mere 14. Suddenly I find I'm not prepared at all.

Comments

[logansrogue.livejournal.com]

You never are prepared. I had 20 years with Melma, and it wasn't enough. And when Lenny's time came, and he was *my* baby boy who I raised as if he was my own little one, who had been there for me when men and women had come and gone, who'd been my rock through my turbulent 20s, when his time came I couldn't cope. I pretty much went mental for a year as I waited for him to reach the point where he couldn't go on. I had about 18 years with him, and it wasn't enough. No time is never enough with our darling furry ones. Don't feel bad about feeling that, it's very normal, I think. I hope her end is peaceful, and I hope you can find a place where you feel the grief you need to feel, but are stable enough to endure it. I know I fought to find that place when I lost my little one. If you need to talk to someone about how much you miss your cat, I'm here. I know I felt ridiculous for mourning Lenny so heavily, so I'm an option if you need it. Lots of love. <3