Drug trials and general progress
Oct. 6th, 2011 10:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stephbgThis was written as a post to the agomelatine users' group to which I belong, but it's near enough to a progress report to duplicate here for future reference. Warnings for potential depression triggers: I feel like hell.
--
Hi folks
I had my 3 month review last week and have since tried to drop my fluoxetine. The results might be of interest to people trying to find the right blend of ago and meds, which seems to be most of us.
First the good news: I love agomelatine. It's given me a life again. Not quite the same life I had before, and I still have a chronic illness, but a good life nonetheless. I regained interest in life. I was able to work from home for up to 4 hours across the day, and I resurrected my creative life with a photography project. I was even considering opening a Redbubble account so I could sell prints. I did work on the house, set up a water garden, and started reading for pleasure. I felt bright and intelligent again. All amazing stuff.
It occurred to me that maybe all I needed was the agomelatine, or at least that I could manage with a lower dose of fluoxetine than the 100mg/day I've been on for some time. I stepped down to 90mg for a couple of days, but the tablets I needed for that odd 10mg were seriously unpleasant so I dropped down to 80mg a bit sooner than I'd planned to. That was as far as I was planning to go, so I settled in to see what would happen.
Bad things happened.
In my experience the first 4 days after any medication change are a writeoff, so I let the nausea, fatigue, headaches and vague anxiety go, but after that things got worse, not better. I was hit by more serious depression, dizziness, loss of coordination, complete loss of concentration and severe sleepiness. When I closed my eyes my head would slowly turn. I was certainly unable to work, and lost interest in everything. Despite still being on the 37.5mg of agomelatine that had changed my life once, I was back to where I was before I started. It's taken me a couple of days to write this post. I only gave the lower dose of fluoxetine about a week before giving up and going back to 100mg. Some of the symptoms have improved, but now I'm going through an angry/tearful/panic phase, and experiencing classic depressive symptoms such as joylessness, and inability to taste sweet flavours or see bright colours.
I feel wretchedly awful. And stupid. And fat.
I really miss proper sleep too. I'm spending plenty of time unconscious, but it's not at all like the lovely natural (if brief) sleep the ago gave me. This is more like being held underwater. I've really noticed that I've stopped dreaming, good and bad. Perhaps related to this I've also become photophobic. A couple of weeks ago I was in love with sunlight, and adored the skylight we finally had installed in my workroom. Now I hate the light and just want to curl up in the dark. The cats like it.
The point of all this is that I've experienced a complete range of effects whilst keeping on the same dose of agomelatine. ALL of the problems have been due to the changes in fluoxetine dosage. I have come to the conclusion that I need both, and while it's possible I might be able to get by on a lower dose of fluoxetine I really can't afford the downtime it will take to find out. I want my life back!
If anyone reading this is trialling ago, remember that it only works on part of your brain. If multiple neurological systems are off, they all have to be addressed separately. Don't blame one possibly helpful drug (whether ago or something else) if there's a chance the problem might lie elsewhere. Baby/bathwater; you get the drill.
Ironically today was the day I got a query from my client about the number of hours work I billed for last month. He's really pleased that I'm feeling better, but isn't sure he has the budget to keep me on at my newly recovered workrate. And several of my liver test results came back today and were out of normal range. And and and. It was one of THOSE days where even the smallest inconvenience seemed like a disaster. I am not this person! I want ME back asap.
Sorry if this is a bit long, but writing this has helped me to organise my thoughts, and by golly they could use the help.
Steph
--
Hi folks
I had my 3 month review last week and have since tried to drop my fluoxetine. The results might be of interest to people trying to find the right blend of ago and meds, which seems to be most of us.
First the good news: I love agomelatine. It's given me a life again. Not quite the same life I had before, and I still have a chronic illness, but a good life nonetheless. I regained interest in life. I was able to work from home for up to 4 hours across the day, and I resurrected my creative life with a photography project. I was even considering opening a Redbubble account so I could sell prints. I did work on the house, set up a water garden, and started reading for pleasure. I felt bright and intelligent again. All amazing stuff.
It occurred to me that maybe all I needed was the agomelatine, or at least that I could manage with a lower dose of fluoxetine than the 100mg/day I've been on for some time. I stepped down to 90mg for a couple of days, but the tablets I needed for that odd 10mg were seriously unpleasant so I dropped down to 80mg a bit sooner than I'd planned to. That was as far as I was planning to go, so I settled in to see what would happen.
Bad things happened.
In my experience the first 4 days after any medication change are a writeoff, so I let the nausea, fatigue, headaches and vague anxiety go, but after that things got worse, not better. I was hit by more serious depression, dizziness, loss of coordination, complete loss of concentration and severe sleepiness. When I closed my eyes my head would slowly turn. I was certainly unable to work, and lost interest in everything. Despite still being on the 37.5mg of agomelatine that had changed my life once, I was back to where I was before I started. It's taken me a couple of days to write this post. I only gave the lower dose of fluoxetine about a week before giving up and going back to 100mg. Some of the symptoms have improved, but now I'm going through an angry/tearful/panic phase, and experiencing classic depressive symptoms such as joylessness, and inability to taste sweet flavours or see bright colours.
I feel wretchedly awful. And stupid. And fat.
I really miss proper sleep too. I'm spending plenty of time unconscious, but it's not at all like the lovely natural (if brief) sleep the ago gave me. This is more like being held underwater. I've really noticed that I've stopped dreaming, good and bad. Perhaps related to this I've also become photophobic. A couple of weeks ago I was in love with sunlight, and adored the skylight we finally had installed in my workroom. Now I hate the light and just want to curl up in the dark. The cats like it.
The point of all this is that I've experienced a complete range of effects whilst keeping on the same dose of agomelatine. ALL of the problems have been due to the changes in fluoxetine dosage. I have come to the conclusion that I need both, and while it's possible I might be able to get by on a lower dose of fluoxetine I really can't afford the downtime it will take to find out. I want my life back!
If anyone reading this is trialling ago, remember that it only works on part of your brain. If multiple neurological systems are off, they all have to be addressed separately. Don't blame one possibly helpful drug (whether ago or something else) if there's a chance the problem might lie elsewhere. Baby/bathwater; you get the drill.
Ironically today was the day I got a query from my client about the number of hours work I billed for last month. He's really pleased that I'm feeling better, but isn't sure he has the budget to keep me on at my newly recovered workrate. And several of my liver test results came back today and were out of normal range. And and and. It was one of THOSE days where even the smallest inconvenience seemed like a disaster. I am not this person! I want ME back asap.
Sorry if this is a bit long, but writing this has helped me to organise my thoughts, and by golly they could use the help.
Steph
