stephbg | Highlander II

Despite my best efforts to avoid watching Highlander II, I've just watched it. I'd planned to return it to the DVD library unwatched and unmourned, but as it survived safely forgotten at home not once but twice I figured that the universe was keen for me to experience it.

Highlander II: The Quickening (1991, US theatrical release)

Not a review, but something of a running commentary.

Wow. This is *really* bad. The effects, the makeup, the acting, the set design, the fight choreography. That's in the first 2 minutes or so.

Highlander II, you are not Bladerunner.

OMG THE SCRIPT! IT BURNS!

Highlander II, you are not Mad Max.

OMG THE DIRECTING! IT BURNS!

Highlander II, you are not an Arnie film.

OMG! THE EFFECTS! THEY COMPLETELY FAIL TO BURN CONVINCINGLY!

Ugh. Inappropriate kissing. And pointless shagging :-(

So. Much. Diabolical. Laughter.

Highlander II, you are not Robocop.

OMG THE ACTING! IT BURNS!

Why does the token chick keep changing clothes? And acquiring jewellry and makeup and oh so very much hairspray?

OMG THE BANTER! IT BURNS!

OMG THE STUPID! IT BURNS!

Actually, it's kind of fun. The editing on a scene-by-scene basis is OK - I can at least see what's going on. And Sean Connery had some fun playing Sean Connery.

Gosh, how will they get out of this pickle? Ah, noble sacrifice, that's how. Oh dear. Handy though. And now by the pretty girl distracting the guard. Again.

Bizarrely the audio mix is pretty good and I can hear the dialogue quite clearly. Not that I *want* to hear the dialogue mind you.

That's an awful lot of wailing guitar I'm hearing.

Just a second... major continuity flaw. And a half. New sword, new hair, possibly new clothes. Isn't it nice he found time for a quick shampoo, trim and blowdry in the middle of a swordfight? Some of the famous Highlander II hack&slash editing in action.

Aw, they blew up some model buildings, with sparklers. Poor little models.

Wait, what, it's over? Just like that?

Well, now I've seen the theatrical release I can imagine how much better the Director's Cut would be. Can't fix the core stupid story, but can trim out some of the dumber secondary plot elements. I believe the effects got cleaned up a bit too.