Bodice ripping
Sep. 19th, 2010 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stephbgA random quote:
"I am not," I said clearly into the waiting silence, "a bastard. I didn't have parents, and lacking the necessary existential qualifications they hardly had the opportunity to wed prior to my appearance."
I'm evil, but I'm not the most dreadful person in the office. Mr Jim from upper management* is developing nicely/horribly. This is somewhere between notes and a rough draft of dialogue, but hey, who's going to complain? My editor? Actually it just occurred to me today that Ellen Datlow is Natcon 50/36 GoH and if I get myself organised I might have something worth workshopping by then.
I'm starting to become quite fond of some of my Destiny Team members. Mr Jim is not one of those beings.
(*) I can see names are going to become a serious problem.
Gratuitous sex
ME: "Hello team. We might need to have some sex today, to distract Mr Jim."
*concerned looks from team members*
"But there's nothing on the schedule."
"That's right, this will have to be quite thoroughly unnecessary gratuitous sex."
Team member, uncomfortably: "I've had to do this before on one of Mr Jim's projects. It wasn't very nice."
"Likes it rough, does he?"
"Mercifully quick at least, but it's usually giant barbarian deflowering innocent maiden stuff. Or whores being taken by barbarian warriors. Sometimes witches seducing barbarian warriors."
"I sense a theme."
"Now you mention it, yes, but it does conform to the procedure... By the way he like alleyways behind alehouses."
"Classy. I bet no-one washes or brushes their teeth either."
"I'm not sure they even take off their clothes, unless you count the bodice ripping."
"I will do no such thing. Sigh. Do we have a pair of consenting adults handy? Preferably deeply attracted to one another? Don't need to be in love per se, but a bit of sizzling chemistry would help to keep things moving."
"Gender?"
"Ak. Male/female. It will make it easier to set up and get out of the way."
"Party members?"
"Oh lord no, think of the complications. Whoever they are, we'll give them clean sheets and soap. No riverbanks, no alleyways, no sand, no rocks, no piles of treasure. Warm, clean, comfortable bed."
"No straw then? Straw's pretty soft."
"Not soft enough for me, sunshine."
"I am not," I said clearly into the waiting silence, "a bastard. I didn't have parents, and lacking the necessary existential qualifications they hardly had the opportunity to wed prior to my appearance."
I'm evil, but I'm not the most dreadful person in the office. Mr Jim from upper management* is developing nicely/horribly. This is somewhere between notes and a rough draft of dialogue, but hey, who's going to complain? My editor? Actually it just occurred to me today that Ellen Datlow is Natcon 50/36 GoH and if I get myself organised I might have something worth workshopping by then.
I'm starting to become quite fond of some of my Destiny Team members. Mr Jim is not one of those beings.
(*) I can see names are going to become a serious problem.
Gratuitous sex
ME: "Hello team. We might need to have some sex today, to distract Mr Jim."
*concerned looks from team members*
"But there's nothing on the schedule."
"That's right, this will have to be quite thoroughly unnecessary gratuitous sex."
Team member, uncomfortably: "I've had to do this before on one of Mr Jim's projects. It wasn't very nice."
"Likes it rough, does he?"
"Mercifully quick at least, but it's usually giant barbarian deflowering innocent maiden stuff. Or whores being taken by barbarian warriors. Sometimes witches seducing barbarian warriors."
"I sense a theme."
"Now you mention it, yes, but it does conform to the procedure... By the way he like alleyways behind alehouses."
"Classy. I bet no-one washes or brushes their teeth either."
"I'm not sure they even take off their clothes, unless you count the bodice ripping."
"I will do no such thing. Sigh. Do we have a pair of consenting adults handy? Preferably deeply attracted to one another? Don't need to be in love per se, but a bit of sizzling chemistry would help to keep things moving."
"Gender?"
"Ak. Male/female. It will make it easier to set up and get out of the way."
"Party members?"
"Oh lord no, think of the complications. Whoever they are, we'll give them clean sheets and soap. No riverbanks, no alleyways, no sand, no rocks, no piles of treasure. Warm, clean, comfortable bed."
"No straw then? Straw's pretty soft."
"Not soft enough for me, sunshine."
