Quality Assurance

[stephbg]

I'm having ideas far faster than I can write them down. I know I said yesterday that I don't believe in wordcounts, but that was before I wrote a small (600 word) chunk of actual prose. It's irresistable.

I do like this idea of quickly transcribing dialogue as a way to capture a scene, and I'll copy in a chunk of today's after the cut (Why? Why not? You don't have to read it.). It (whatever it is) is definitely a work of fantasy. Or professional catharsis at any rate. This probably doesn't make much sense in its current form (unless you've ever had the pleasure of working with ISO:9001), but there may be more one day.



Never mind the width, feel the consistency

ME: "Hello Alynne, what are you up to? The staff meeting isn't finished yet."
TEAM PERSON: "I thought I'd make a start on the party."
"How nice. What kind of party? Birthday? Farewell? Political? Swingers?"
"You know, the group who go on the quest. The Party. The old guy who's the sorcerer, the comedy relief guy who may or may not be a dwarf, the warrior, the horse lord, the clueless farmboy, the princess, the thief. We always start with that."
"But you don't even know what the project is about yet."
"That doesn't matter. It's how we always do things around here. It's in the manual."
ISO 9001:4532 Inter-dimensional Standards Office (or Offal, no-one's really sure about that).
"We have to follow the manual. It's... it's..."
"In the manual?"
"Yes!"
"And what if we don't?"
"That would be just re-inventing the wheel, wouldn't it? And we'd fail the next audit and maybe lose our certification."
"Tell me Alynne, does the manual guarantee success?"
"Success in what?"
"The outcomes of the project. The products. The services. The brave new world. Destinies fulfilled."
"That's not the point."
"No? What is the point?"
"To do it the same way every time."
"Consistency, then?"
"Absolutely."
"Even if it doesn't work."
"Well, that's irrelevant."
"Our clients and customers might not think so."
"There's a complaints procedure. The master copy is kept in Warehouse 17,"
"Handy"
"...and Warehouse 18. It's a great procedure."
"Is it?"
"Oh yes, we use it all the time."
"I'm sure."
"I'm surprised you don't know about quality certification. It has a huge impact on the way we do business."
"So I've noticed. Will you excuse me Alynne? You've been very helpful."
"You're welcome. I'll just get back to these Party Assembly Procedures. It won't take me long. There are forms. It has to be done. May as well do it now. That's efficiency."
"Not this time. This time we find out what we're trying to achieve first."
"No party?"
"Possibly no party. Possibly one big party. We don't know yet."
"They won't like that upstairs. The Quality Manager will be on you like a leech."
"I imagine so."
"And the Project Office will have a fit."
"It is only to be hoped. No, I do them a disservice. I'm sure they do excellent work."
"I wouldn't cross them if I were you."
...

Comments

[leecetheartist.livejournal.com]

"The master copy is kept in Warehouse 17."
"Handy"
"...and Warehouse 18."

ROFLOL!

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

Glad you approve, although all this writing is cutting into my Liaden reading time, and I haven't even started Middleman. I've still got Bronny's dish, uh, somewhere.

[leecetheartist.livejournal.com]

I often have great difficulty reuniting Bronny and her flatware, so don't feel bad. Take Liaden and Middleman as breaks when your head needs to gear down from writing, but at the moment it certainly sounds like you're on a roll.

[writerjo.livejournal.com]

They are alive when they can talk like this.

Keep going!