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I'm struggling more than a little to prepare for my talk next week. Not having actually spoken aloud for a couple of days seems to compound the problem. I'm all for muttering to myself, but I know from experience that I need to practice at normal or indeed elevated sound levels or it doesn't count.



This is a problem. I tried to think of ways to get around the OMG-I-have-nothing-to-say problem, and I struck upon the idea of reciting other people's words. At one point in my life (don't ask) I used to know a lot of poetry, and as anyone who saw the Iron Brain event at Swancon this year can attest, I can fairly get my teeth into words if I don't have to think about them too much.

But this is what happens when I launch unprepared into the first* thing I thought of to recite:

I love a sunburned country;
A land of sweeping plains.
Of rugged mountain ranges,
Of rats, and flooding rains.


And there it ended. I think it's a good idea though, and will chase up something to declaim into the solitary night.

But before I go, I'm reminded of a common cause of conflict in preparing my head space for these things: Is it a performance, or not? If it's a performance, then it's a show and I'm going to do a show without a complete script. A show must be entertaining and know where it's heading. If it's not a performance, it's not a conversation either. How can it be a conversation where a few dozen people sit passively while I say lots of words?

What I *want* but don't have time for is a completely scripted (for vocals) lecture, with accompanying visuals. A lecture with a narrative. A beginning, a middle and an end, so there are no awkward pauses in the middle. No throats will clear! But it has to be a lecture that I can deliver or perform *to* the audience. I want to be able to look them in the eye and say clever things that are right there in my brain, and not clinging deparately to the fear-slicked fringes of my memory. If I had time I would practice the fully scripted lecture, and then have at best crib notes to serve as reminders on the night, to save me from total loss of memory.

Hmmm. I might use some of those ideas in the talk :-)


(*) Actually the first thing I thought of was the poem "Death be not proud" but it's been a long time since I last went down the "For those whom thou thinkest thou dost overthrow die not" road and it all collapsed messily.

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