Clue bat time

[stephbg]

Today I found out a friend of mine made some incredibly stupid, hurtful, clueless and insensitive remarks in entirely the wrong place at the wrong time*. This provoked a lot of outrage. Because his post was deleted I've not seen the entire text, but I'll take it in faith that quotes in following comments were accurate, and that's quite enough. There's no context in the world that would improve what he said, and in fact I shudder to think how the whole thing might have read. Bad. Very Very Bad.

So what do I plan to do about this?



Thanks to FB we're past the "What the hell were you thinking?" stage. He already has a fixed appointment with Barry The Clue Bat for a thorough thwack or three around the ears.

But then I want to talk to him. He has regrets: does he regret being outed as an intolerable arsehole? Does he regret expressing unacceptable opinions? Or does he regret saying something reasonable in an entirely unreasonable way? I don't think he's an intolerable arsehole, but it's hard to imagine how the source of such words is entirely free from taint. So I won't try to imagine, I'll ask. Maybe I'll learn something, maybe he will.

Without doubt he's been at best an idiot, but he's still my friend and worth the attempt at repair if required (and if he'll allow it). We'll see what happens after that.

As for the true villain of the piece, I repeat the advice offered firmly by others: You've broken the rules. Do not come. You are not welcome.

(*) Nothing to do with me personally, apart from involving a community I care about very much.

Comments

[leecetheartist.livejournal.com]

He isn't coming.

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

I assume you mean the bad he isn't coming, rather than the potentially-just-stupid he.

[rdmasters.livejournal.com]

(on leecetheartist's behalf)
Yes, indeed, you are correct.

[transcendancing.livejournal.com]

Well said hon. *love*

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

This all makes me feel sick.

[leecetheartist.livejournal.com]

You're not alone in that.

[transcendancing.livejournal.com]

Believe me I know :( You're not alone. *love*

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Makes a lot of us then

[firvulag.livejournal.com]

Oh, he has more than a fixed appointment. He has weekly sessions.

He picks c. He never claims to be perfect. No-one is. He is at least part arsehole, but not a very big part that is kept under control most of the time. (see weekly appointments)

He is most definitely part idiot, given the lacking of completely functioning mental state.

He most certainly is willing to talk to anyone that previously regarded him as a friend to see if the damage is repairable or if viewpoints are too disjointed to continue and just agree to disagree.

He finds this all too painful right now and is not currently with us either.

He will be attending. (not the real villain, but the idiot)

[angriest.livejournal.com]

You have really copped a clue bat in the face this week, and I know from personal experience how painful and upsetting that can be.

Drop me a line (fanboy@gmail.com) if you want to chat, but just letting you know that we're all cool from my end.