Duck hunting in IKEA

[stephbg]

Husband once opined that if anyone could build a better rubber duck it would be the Swedes, so today we went to IKEA to find that better rubber duck.

We didn't find a rubber duck :-(

But we found Other Things :-)



I am unnaturally fond of efficient shelving and storage systems; a visit to IKEA is both a pleasure and a torture. But there's so much more there, and it changes every time we go. Did you know you can buy a real cowhide at IKEA for $499? And a plush catlike thing with two rows of prominent nipples and eyelashes? And something that appears to be a cross between a panda and a salamander, for the specific design purpose of cuddling? And crab paste in a tube?

Sadly for bunny_m they no longer stock large sharks, but I can recommend the 10 animal collection of finger puppets which includes a shark finger puppet. A shark finger puppet! How cool is that? The collection also includes a frog, elephant, bunny, panda, lion, moose, turtle and mouse. For those playing at home, you may have noticed that this only adds up to 9. To discover what the last one is I have to open the package.

Hang on a sec.

I thought it might be a crocodile, but it's actually a parrot. Only the shark and mouse have teeth, but the scale is impressive. Actually the shark looks like it has a white moustache and is wearing heavy red lipstick. He/she/it looks a little squashed still:



The moose and the shark are currently engaged in fierce battle on Husband's right hand. It's... quite a sight.

The white rabbit has prominent red eyes. It's accurate, but disturbing. Speaking of disturbing, Husband's moved on to the ultimate bunny versus turtle cage match.

OK, enough with the finger puppets. Let's move on to the new hand puppet. Since we were scanning for small objects that might be anywhere we found all sorts of treasures in the corners of display rooms. Husband found a single example of the most terrifying dolphin hand puppet I've ever seen.



It's shiny silver velvet, and has a surprisingly prominent and well-detailed blow hole. It has a large pink tongue, and mouth full of large pointy teeth. I say "mouth full" but since they stick out at all angles it's more of a faceful. It's a very angry dolphin: less Flipper, more Chopper.



Chopper it is.

For an IKEA toy Chopper is surprisingly poorly executed. The seams are a bit skewed, and there's a clear right-handed bias. Chopper's seen a bit of life it seems. It's almost as if he's a failed prototype, or there was an accident in the lab...



I'm running out of steam, and I haven't even got to the giraffe in the strawberry car. It might be a witty pun in Swedish, or some beloved nursery rhyme. Maybe. But we have an excuse for that one: it's a present for a small child who might understand it better than we.

Before I go I must mention the musical duck toy. To make it play a tune, you have to wring its neck. It's pretty unambiguous: you grab its head and twist to deform the neck into a spiral, and you're rewarded with a happy tune. We left that one behind *shudder*.

BTW all these toys are my Valentine's Day present :-)

Comments

[baby-elvis.livejournal.com]

That dolphin is terrifying.

[fe2h2o.livejournal.com]

Fredmouse and family gave our kids a set of the IKEA finger puppets some years ago. There is the shark, but the rest are also sea creatures. So, there's an octopus, a starfish, several stripey fish of different colours... and I can't remember the others (actually, possibly they're not _quite_ all... there may also be an elephant—or it may have arrived from another source). They're wonderfully entertaining, will distract small children for quite lengthy periods!