Th-ink

[stephbg]

I've been contemplating the idea of getting another tattoo. Or perhaps the tattoo has been dreaming of me.



When I acquired my current batch in 1994-95 (which incidentally took exactly one calendar year) I felt absolutely driven until I'd got the four I have. And then, done. Finito. We could all relax. I had my permanent reminders of those things I considered important and that I might be inclined to forget: Patience, Joy, Courage, Balance, Infinite Growth. There's more to it, but that's the short version.

I've occasionally entertained the thought of what I'd do if I got another, but with a distinct lack of conviction. It's not an idea you can push; I'm a firm believer that when the time is right, you'll *know*, and there will be no doubts. Until then, no ink. Without conscious prompting, it appears that the time is coming.

It has been a very big year, and it's not over yet. Bad things have occured, but I have survived. Good things have occured, and I have celebrated. In a few weeks time, I'm confident that I'll have another few good things under my belt. Before the year is done I know there will be more sadness.

But what really struck me in all this was the importance of the love of my family, my friends, my community, the friends of the family, my wonderful Husband, and even the cats. As James T. Kirk said famously, "Love. Is. The key."

Love. And dreams, and hope. Hope and dreams require a special kind of courage quite different to the bravery in the face of fear and opposition that I already have inscribed on my left thigh. I don't feel the need to be reminded of these things by ink, for I see them all around me. But I want to celebrate them, and wed myself to a permanent symbol of how important they are are to me. Right now I don't have all the words to express these ideas with the poetry they deserve, but that's rather the point of getting a tattoo. Words are not enough.

What will it be? Where will it go? How big will it be? I don't yet know for sure. The image I choose will inevitably strike others as odd--it will probably strike *me* as odd--but I'm not aiming for precise visual iconography here. Whether it survives or not the current concept is a small heart rendered in black tiger stripes, about two inches across, on my upper arm. I'm leery of tattoos in public and/or saggy places, but that's what my lizard brain is telling me now, at least until I actually see it. For now it's all in my head. It won't be cute--another sure sign of tattoo danger--but in the end it might just be ever so slightly fluffy. But that's OK. Fluffy is important too :-)

Comments

[krjalk.livejournal.com]

I've had plans to add another to my collection for the better part of a decade, it's probably financial reasons more than anything else that have stopped me - there have always been other things that the money could be spent on that seemed a higher priority. I'm also reaching the point at which I think the time is about right. It may take another year or so before I actually do it, but I know what I want.