That's... new
Oct. 16th, 2008 04:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stephbgI'm normally quite keen to check my lotto numbers manually each week, but understandably last Saturday's ticket has lain fallow in my purse.
I was out by necessity today and passed a newsagent with one of the new automatic check machines. Wanting no more than to get rid of a piece of paper and expecting the usual message that I'd wasted $13.60 once again, I was surprised to see:
CONGRATULATIONS! WINNER!
The odd thing was, I was immediately struck with dread. Oh no, I thought, what if I've won a major prize? That wouldn't be *right*.
Fortunately I escaped with just $26, but I can only assume my reaction was some kind of survivor guilt. Somehow right now the idea of misfortune--adding insult to injury--seems appropriate. Am I just *waiting* for another kick in the teeth? Am I in fact *looking* for badness, whilst actively rejecting the possibility of goodness?
That sounds very human but not terribly sensible. Classic depressive reaction I believe.
The sun will shine again and I will not stand in its way. Of course, if it does rain, let it rain.
Sounds good on paper. Rinse. Repeat. Believe. Dare to hope. At least try. That's right, there is no try, only do. Sorted then.
I was out by necessity today and passed a newsagent with one of the new automatic check machines. Wanting no more than to get rid of a piece of paper and expecting the usual message that I'd wasted $13.60 once again, I was surprised to see:
CONGRATULATIONS! WINNER!
The odd thing was, I was immediately struck with dread. Oh no, I thought, what if I've won a major prize? That wouldn't be *right*.
Fortunately I escaped with just $26, but I can only assume my reaction was some kind of survivor guilt. Somehow right now the idea of misfortune--adding insult to injury--seems appropriate. Am I just *waiting* for another kick in the teeth? Am I in fact *looking* for badness, whilst actively rejecting the possibility of goodness?
That sounds very human but not terribly sensible. Classic depressive reaction I believe.
The sun will shine again and I will not stand in its way. Of course, if it does rain, let it rain.
Sounds good on paper. Rinse. Repeat. Believe. Dare to hope. At least try. That's right, there is no try, only do. Sorted then.
