So, do I go to femmeconne this year?

[stephbg]

At last year's femmeconne I met and connected with old friends, got to know some people better and met some bright new shiny people. That was great.



There were some confrontational aspects to the program (or lack of program), and times where I just couldn't fit in. I lurked on the fringes too much, which made me a little sad. Too many bad memories of childhood camps. I like to hang and chat, really, but it's hard to get into the mode. The screaming children thing is an issue I can't ignore.

This year if I go I will need to self cater, which is no biggie, but if I don't stay overnight and drive there and back at least twice, the costs look quite significant.

But I know that if I do go it will be a great experience and I'll be unlikely to regret it.

What are people thinking? How are you making your choices?

What's my deadline?

Comments

[purrdence.livejournal.com]

times where I just couldn't fit in. I lurked on the fringes too much, which made me a little sad.

I have felt that way, not just at Femmeconne, but Slashcon and sometimes at Swancon too.

[redbraids.livejournal.com]

I was originally not going because I am away multiple weekends that month, and thought it would be too stressful. Also, I found it a zoo last year! However, it is a great event and I know that if I do not go I will miss the awesome company.

If you go, lets plan on camping out in the lower dorms. That was the highlight for me last yea!

[ariaflame.livejournal.com]

I went the last two years and like you felt on the fringes a lot of the time and found other bits confrontational too. Basically although there were a few bits I liked, I tried it twice and am not going to bother again. I'm told there may have been improvements on the bit of the program I had problems with, but I came out more depressed than going in so that's it for me.

[alias_sqbr]

Worrying that I would have that sort of experience is why I haven't gone before. I decided to give it a go this year since I can't know till I try it.

I plan on bringing lots of books and stuff to watch on my laptop for if I get bored/lonely :)

But yes, can't say if you should go yourself, but I understand the dilemma.

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

Bored/lonely was never part of the problem!

I suffered from an overdose of togetherness. Warm fuzzy community bonding overload.

[alias_sqbr]

Ahh. Hmm. *has flashbacks to feeling weird during girly bonding moments in highschool* Well, I guess I can go off with my laptop during those moments too!

Also: is that what you meant about things being too "confronting"? I just want to know what I'm getting into :)

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

I've been meaning to reply sensibly to this but it's a bit tricky. Might need a whole post. It's related to the excess of niceness.

[alias_sqbr]

Fair enough.

[cricketk.livejournal.com]

Oh this is interesting.

I'm going one day only and not staying over because I felt pretty damn uncomfortable socially for much of the weekend last time and escape options don't exist.

I did get to actually talk to some people that I've always wanted to have more than rushed, fleeting conversations and I'm hoping to replicate some of that.

K* and I are car pooling Saturday if you'd like to join us?

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the offer. I'm still completely unsure what I'll be doing.

[transcendancing.livejournal.com]

*hugs you*

The program i'm in the midst of putting together as we speak - and you were one of the people i wanted to run it by in terms if if you thought it would be a solution to some of the highlighted issues last year - aka more than one stream, and also the flexibility of timing so that there's time enough for each thing but there are options for people who want to continue the discussion.

Also this year there plans to have a time keeper on for half a day at a time - where their job is to clock watch and push people on to the next subject at the right time.

Given there will be a half hour overlap that should theoretically work.

What am I missing?

*cuddles you*

I find the entire experience to be one that is rewarding and amazing, even the hard confrontational bits - I come out knowing myself better as a person, knowing and valuing those around me so much more. I loved your cuddles from last year :)

[huckle.livejournal.com]

I have the same emotional experience of femmecon - I spend a lot of time there feeling like a socially inept weirdo. Last year I went and played with Julia on the rope course a lot, which was heaps of fun.
Please go, I would love to catch up with you IRL. We can always go and hang out away from the crowd for a bit. I will be there Saturday night and Sunday.
I am intrigued that so many people have the same emotional experience. I think it would be something to discuss openly in a panel. Its supposed to be a supportive, fun thing with friends yet so many of us just feel bad.

[purrdence.livejournal.com]

Actually, I've been considering talking about this in an Love & Hate post. It's hard, because if worded wrongly it could come out sounding really bitchy...

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

Please do.

Not the bitchy bit.

[transcendancing.livejournal.com]

The idea of talking about this has a lot of merit.

I will definitely put something together for this.

Is it just that we in general expect lighter subject matter? When you get a bunch of women together to talk about women's stuff, is the subject matter light at all? Will the addition of the kitchen cooking demos, and the two streams broaden it enough that those who want to pick and choose and avoid feeling personally confronted will be able to do so? I hope so.

I don't know what the answer is to this - but I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks actually. I can see that people feel emotional, that they feel challenged and confronted. I understand that while for me personally being confronted in this way isn't a bad thing - I enjoy the opportunity to rethink things, myself, to know myself better and to grow, and also to know those around me better. Also, i hate small talk with a passion. But, not everyone feels like that... as I said, I honestly understand this.

What I keep coming back to in my wondering though is, if you get a bunch of amazing women together the way we do, you have a whole lot of intensity drawn together in on space - i can see how that would be overwhelming, on top of the stuff that we talk about if not the entire time, than for a good portion of it.

I'm not actually at a point where this is coherent, I'm just trying to be open and share the thoughts and try and find a way through them - ideally doing this program, it's important for me to do the best I can for everyone, for it to include stuff to do and talk about that people are interested in.

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

The structured bits were the best bits for me. I felt very cast adrift last year when the program basically didn't happen. I don't recall having a problem with personally confrontational content. I'm not keen on abstract academic feminism, but am quite comfortable with the idea of wandering off at those times. Fire is good.

Something else that's out of your control is the acoustics in the main meeting hall. It's so boomy that I can't understand a word if there are too many conversations going at once. So in theory when people are most relaxed and just generally chatting, I'm at my most isolated.

[transcendancing.livejournal.com]

Well hopefully adjusting the scheduling will work a bit better to make sure that everything happens.

You're right about the acoustics not being something we can do much about though...

Personal vs Academic - those are choices people will weather themselves i think, though better if I try and mix things and other less heavy stuff up in amongst it.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Do you think if we brought in curtains and stuff to hang over the windows that might help to absorb some of the noise?

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

I suspect the suspended wooden floor would be more of an acoustic problem than the walls and windows, so rugs might be a better bet.

(a) I don't know, and
(b) I can't imagine we can do this practically.

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

See, I *love* the idea of hanging with you and a heap of others. I'm wondering why it seems necessary to pay $120 (plus fuel etc) just so I can talk to my friends. I have the same issues with other small cons.

[callistra.livejournal.com]

You could have a party. We'd all come. Probably. Depending on children etc.
:-)

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

I'm not due to host another party until October 2010. OMG, that's quite soon!

*hyperventilates*

[callistra.livejournal.com]

Just after Worldcon!
Good thing your party is not in September then!

[wolflullaby.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed meeting you last year, and hope you come again this time round. I wasn't sure if I was going to come or not, but have decided too. I found it a little hard when a lot of people seemed to know each other really well and be comfortable with each other, and I felt like I was still meeting most people (but it looks like other people may have felt similarly from the comments).