All the world's a stage
Nov. 14th, 2007 04:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stephbg...but I seem to do my best work in lifts and supermarket queues.
From the (extremely) creative team who brought you The Train Shutdown Is a Great Opportunity To See More of Your Family and Saw III, the Public Transport Authority is proud to present: Please Don't Use The Trains, You're Doing It Wrong.
Yes, someone in authority has noticed that the peasants were revolting, and also that they disliked the current state of the train system. The solution? Hand out a pamphlet to morning commuters admitting that things were a bit busy, and asking people nicely to not ride at peak hour.
The next railcar is not due to arrive until "late 2008" so we've a year in which things will merely get worse.
A major section of the pamphlet attempted to educate the masses in how to use the new stations. Now there's a warning sign indicating poor human engineering design if ever there was one. Let's hope these people never design slaughterhouses. Poor cows.
They attempted to address the human pileup at the bottom of the escalators ("please move along the platform to where your telepathy tells you the train might stop today (please supply your own chicken entrails)"), and the merging of two platforms into one ("pay attention, cretins"). What is also disturbing is that same document both (a) encouraged commuters to read the signs and (b) apologised that the signs were not accurate.
I've also recently become aware of an interesting design feature that blocks your view of the rails from above. This means that you can't tell if your train is already at the platform until you are a few feet above it. Therefore, in the roughly 98.2% of instances where the signs at the top of the stairs say "Your next train may or may not depart in 1 minute" one must assume the worst and scamper all the way. Whereas, if you could actually see from a bit higher up you'd be able to avoid some of the undignified scurrying, not to mention the bottom-of-the-waterslide-like shoot into the bosom of the crowd at the bottom of the escalators and steps. Oh well, at least they're usually a soft landing surface, but pretty soon everyone's going to be carrying pitchforks and torches and that could get spiky and warm.
Spoils of the literary hunt
This afternoon scored not one but two new John Scalzi books. Purrr purrr purrr.
Why don't you do comedy any more Steph?
In the supermarket queue this afternoon, a fellow shopper brandished a tattered $50 note and said "Look at that! Moths are eating my money!" to which I responded with admirable speed "You're lucky. Elephants are eating mine." BaDoompCHA!
Jolly (or quite possibly nervous) laughter all around. Ah, somebody stop me.
Dude. Seriously. Stop me.
From the (extremely) creative team who brought you The Train Shutdown Is a Great Opportunity To See More of Your Family and Saw III, the Public Transport Authority is proud to present: Please Don't Use The Trains, You're Doing It Wrong.
Yes, someone in authority has noticed that the peasants were revolting, and also that they disliked the current state of the train system. The solution? Hand out a pamphlet to morning commuters admitting that things were a bit busy, and asking people nicely to not ride at peak hour.
The next railcar is not due to arrive until "late 2008" so we've a year in which things will merely get worse.
A major section of the pamphlet attempted to educate the masses in how to use the new stations. Now there's a warning sign indicating poor human engineering design if ever there was one. Let's hope these people never design slaughterhouses. Poor cows.
They attempted to address the human pileup at the bottom of the escalators ("please move along the platform to where your telepathy tells you the train might stop today (please supply your own chicken entrails)"), and the merging of two platforms into one ("pay attention, cretins"). What is also disturbing is that same document both (a) encouraged commuters to read the signs and (b) apologised that the signs were not accurate.
I've also recently become aware of an interesting design feature that blocks your view of the rails from above. This means that you can't tell if your train is already at the platform until you are a few feet above it. Therefore, in the roughly 98.2% of instances where the signs at the top of the stairs say "Your next train may or may not depart in 1 minute" one must assume the worst and scamper all the way. Whereas, if you could actually see from a bit higher up you'd be able to avoid some of the undignified scurrying, not to mention the bottom-of-the-waterslide-like shoot into the bosom of the crowd at the bottom of the escalators and steps. Oh well, at least they're usually a soft landing surface, but pretty soon everyone's going to be carrying pitchforks and torches and that could get spiky and warm.
Spoils of the literary hunt
This afternoon scored not one but two new John Scalzi books. Purrr purrr purrr.
Why don't you do comedy any more Steph?
In the supermarket queue this afternoon, a fellow shopper brandished a tattered $50 note and said "Look at that! Moths are eating my money!" to which I responded with admirable speed "You're lucky. Elephants are eating mine." BaDoompCHA!
Jolly (or quite possibly nervous) laughter all around. Ah, somebody stop me.
Dude. Seriously. Stop me.
