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Saw Dr T my shrink today, for a regular 6-month review.

Good news is there's not really any news. I reported my latest efforts at maintaining and attempting to improve my physical and mental health, and he seemed happy to let me keep on doing what I'm doing (particularly in not continuing with Dr NF and the supplements from hell). On that basis now I can claim to be under medical supervision for splashing about* in the pool and buying bags of hay to try and capture the smell of horse at home (**). My sense of smell has been badly dented for the better part of a year now.

And that, really, is that. It wasn't entirely a waste of time – I do feel vaguely reassured to be assessed in such a fashion twice a year as some kind of indication that my constant attempts at improvement are not entirely without logic. But there isn't really anything new he can do to help further at this point. It must be remembered though that I'm here today because of the help he gave me in the past, and the vast majority of the things I try are based on therapies received at his referral over 20+ years.

In hindsight I feel a bit sorry for him for today. It's my job to talk about what I've been up to so he can get a feel for my state of mind, but today I was too tired to put the effort in and just let the silences drag. Very expensive silences those, at over $10 per minute. I did assure them that I was not as depressed as I probably presented, and that although I've been feeling depressed quite often lately I'm doing all I can (and it seems all that can be done) to get through it and feel better. I cited support from my online communities as critical to my care, so thank you folks.

On Wednesday I go in to hospital as a day patient to get an endoscopy. I hope the sedative will be fun. I've had very little in the way of pain relief this week, and apparently as a result have managed to keep everything down. When I have had paracetamol I've felt unsteady again, so it looks like I'll need to just put up with the pain for a bit longer. Fortunately the weather has been mostly kind, and I've been so exhausted I haven't really done much to challenge the body. Next time I get in the pool I will have to try very hard to do a lot less.

(*) No actual splashing allowed.

(**) Fresh hay does not smell like horse, but if you leave it outside for a while and let it get mouldy it does smell significantly more horsey.

Date: 2014-02-03 01:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] transcendancing.livejournal.com
*lovelovelove* it does sound like it was overall very positive (if expensive). Also, I love your hay idea! I hope that you manage to enjoy hydrotherapy and remember not to do too much - hopefully overall it's helping and that you'll enjoy some additional benefit from it soon.

Date: 2014-02-04 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bunny-m.livejournal.com
*offers hugs*

I'm glad that things are, if not better per se, then far better than they could be/have been.

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