I claim magical insight
May. 15th, 2011 02:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stephbgA couple of minutes ago I came home after a 2km-ish walk in the darkness because my legs were shaking too violently to permit rest. And it's just started to rain. Well missed, wet stuff.
I suppose the extreme restlessness even when I was staggeringly tired was a form of weather sensitivity. Damn, I *really* needed my sleep tonight. Alternatively it's the rollercoaster effects of stopping the amitriptyline perhaps too abruptly. It is an antidepressent after all, and I got a couple of good days on Wed/Thurs. A shitty horrible dreadful crushing disappointment of a Friday, and then today. Enough spoons to push beyond my limits; not enough sense to trust that it was spoons I was counting, not depression inertia.
In what might be more than a co-incidence I received some luggage-laden medical advice from a former work colleague of the hippy persuasion. Exercise therapy! If I could just exercise a little more each day then I would be all better. The last time a medical professional suggested that this was the only solution he could offer, I went on a similar but rather more extended midnight ramble in my jammies. At play then too was a different antidepressent to my regular, but with rather more spontaenous ideas about suicide.
All I wanted from tonight was to stop the muscles shaking, with a generous dollop of need to escape this house. Any suggestions for where I might go tomorrow should I have the opportunity to drive out and away? Who fancies a visit? Who wouldn't object to a study-buddy hanging around doing her own thing (I can bring my own amusements)? Who wouldn't mind a chat? Bonus points if you can come and take me away.
2:25am probably not the best time to organise pancakes at dawn as seen from the Darling Scarp, but there are other options I'm sure.
I suppose the extreme restlessness even when I was staggeringly tired was a form of weather sensitivity. Damn, I *really* needed my sleep tonight. Alternatively it's the rollercoaster effects of stopping the amitriptyline perhaps too abruptly. It is an antidepressent after all, and I got a couple of good days on Wed/Thurs. A shitty horrible dreadful crushing disappointment of a Friday, and then today. Enough spoons to push beyond my limits; not enough sense to trust that it was spoons I was counting, not depression inertia.
In what might be more than a co-incidence I received some luggage-laden medical advice from a former work colleague of the hippy persuasion. Exercise therapy! If I could just exercise a little more each day then I would be all better. The last time a medical professional suggested that this was the only solution he could offer, I went on a similar but rather more extended midnight ramble in my jammies. At play then too was a different antidepressent to my regular, but with rather more spontaenous ideas about suicide.
All I wanted from tonight was to stop the muscles shaking, with a generous dollop of need to escape this house. Any suggestions for where I might go tomorrow should I have the opportunity to drive out and away? Who fancies a visit? Who wouldn't object to a study-buddy hanging around doing her own thing (I can bring my own amusements)? Who wouldn't mind a chat? Bonus points if you can come and take me away.
2:25am probably not the best time to organise pancakes at dawn as seen from the Darling Scarp, but there are other options I'm sure.
