I've got a bad feeling about this
Feb. 7th, 2010 08:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stephbgIn common with large chunks of fandom (now there's an image) I went to the cinema to see the three Star Wars prequels when they first came out. Ever since then I've been meaning to watch them again, for surely it was only the weight of my expectations that made them seem so awful? Yes, III was better than II, and II must have been better than I. But compared to IV, V and VI they were appalling.
I never did watch them again, despite multiple opportunities to do so. The re-release of Star Wars IV: A New Hope* didn't exactly boost my faith in George Lucas, so I was left with my bitter memories of the new trilogy unsullied by repeat viewings. I haven't yet managed to watch The Phantom Menace again all the way through, but last night I bravely parked myself on the couch and watched The Attack of the Clones and the start of Revenge of the Sith, finishing the latter this afternoon.
So, here are some of my deeply disorganised thoughts on Star Wars II and III. I figure the organised thoughts have long since been taken care of by other people.
Whiny adolescents are never attractive and do not become more so over time. This contributed to the reasons why I found the Padme/Annikin romance one of the least believable things I have ever seen on screen. Less believable than {insert witty comparison here} even. What's the opposite of screen chemistry? Civil engineering? Crochet? Whatever it was, it wasn't Love *shudder*
I managed to become enraged by Jar-Jar Binks with mere seconds of screen time. On one hand I'd be interested in clinical trials to see exactly what fraction of a second it would take to enrage me again. On the other hand, I'm not in any hurry to volunteer for more Jar-Jar time.
With my new feminist super-powers I became aware that not only was Padme just hanging about as a prequel broodmare in III, but she was talking like something of a cross between an 18th century and 1950's heroine *cough* who needs to conceal a shameful pregnancy. "I will go away where no-one can see me and prepare a room for the baby"? (emphasis mine). Gah. And Darth Vader had Mommy issues. Diddums.
Yoda was infinitely more believable as a puppet, and never should have done the physical stuff beyond the odd Forceful flick of the finger. The light saber battles with the little guy were just a disaster.
The pope did a good job of being evil in a quiet warm fuzzy creepy way. I approve.
Prepared for a certain narrative confusion, this time around I remembered to regularly chant to myself who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. Clones (ambiguous/good) became Stormtroopers (bad). Republic (good) became Empire (bad) and Separatists (bad) became Rebels (good). Clear? Excellent.
At what point did the Skywalker moisture farm (and indeed the son of the farmer) get named after the ex-slave who married the farmer?
The clones did not attack anyone in Attack of the Clones. If anything they did their attacking in Revenge of the Sith when they turned on the Jedi. Remember Order 66. And what were the Sith revenging? Their 1000 year old defeat before the establishment of the Republic?** Slackers.
The dialogue in II was unspeakably (if only) bad. A bit of actual banter in III helped, but Jeez, people. The fight choreography was staggeringly (if only) bad. I fear I owe the folks at Rebel Empire an apology for referring to their last Swancon performance as well-intentioned but stiff and amateurish; in hindsight it was spookily accurate. That's what you get when your major fight scenes are between old guys and absentee special effects.
Too much acting to balls on sticks in front of green screens. I know the FX were state-of-the-art at the time, but Jeez, people. Accept that you can't make people interact believably with graphics and move on.
I hated the editing. Yes. The editing. The cuts back and forth between let's-call-them-narratives were just a little bit too tight on the dialogue and chopped off important bits of the sound before they were quite finished. Thanks to all the wipes they weren't exactly jump cuts, but they felt clumsy to me. Bad George.
Padme is shown operating the controls of the spaceship three times that I recall. On each occasion she presses the same button. Nice button; I'd like one of those. Maybe it was the Any Key.
Bored now.
(*) Han shoots first. And get all that extra crap off the screen. Husband once displayed touching sensitivity when he bought me a copy of the original theatrical release of Star Wars on DVD.
(**) I'm making that up.
I never did watch them again, despite multiple opportunities to do so. The re-release of Star Wars IV: A New Hope* didn't exactly boost my faith in George Lucas, so I was left with my bitter memories of the new trilogy unsullied by repeat viewings. I haven't yet managed to watch The Phantom Menace again all the way through, but last night I bravely parked myself on the couch and watched The Attack of the Clones and the start of Revenge of the Sith, finishing the latter this afternoon.
So, here are some of my deeply disorganised thoughts on Star Wars II and III. I figure the organised thoughts have long since been taken care of by other people.
Whiny adolescents are never attractive and do not become more so over time. This contributed to the reasons why I found the Padme/Annikin romance one of the least believable things I have ever seen on screen. Less believable than {insert witty comparison here} even. What's the opposite of screen chemistry? Civil engineering? Crochet? Whatever it was, it wasn't Love *shudder*
I managed to become enraged by Jar-Jar Binks with mere seconds of screen time. On one hand I'd be interested in clinical trials to see exactly what fraction of a second it would take to enrage me again. On the other hand, I'm not in any hurry to volunteer for more Jar-Jar time.
With my new feminist super-powers I became aware that not only was Padme just hanging about as a prequel broodmare in III, but she was talking like something of a cross between an 18th century and 1950's heroine *cough* who needs to conceal a shameful pregnancy. "I will go away where no-one can see me and prepare a room for the baby"? (emphasis mine). Gah. And Darth Vader had Mommy issues. Diddums.
Yoda was infinitely more believable as a puppet, and never should have done the physical stuff beyond the odd Forceful flick of the finger. The light saber battles with the little guy were just a disaster.
The pope did a good job of being evil in a quiet warm fuzzy creepy way. I approve.
Prepared for a certain narrative confusion, this time around I remembered to regularly chant to myself who were the good guys and who were the bad guys. Clones (ambiguous/good) became Stormtroopers (bad). Republic (good) became Empire (bad) and Separatists (bad) became Rebels (good). Clear? Excellent.
At what point did the Skywalker moisture farm (and indeed the son of the farmer) get named after the ex-slave who married the farmer?
The clones did not attack anyone in Attack of the Clones. If anything they did their attacking in Revenge of the Sith when they turned on the Jedi. Remember Order 66. And what were the Sith revenging? Their 1000 year old defeat before the establishment of the Republic?** Slackers.
The dialogue in II was unspeakably (if only) bad. A bit of actual banter in III helped, but Jeez, people. The fight choreography was staggeringly (if only) bad. I fear I owe the folks at Rebel Empire an apology for referring to their last Swancon performance as well-intentioned but stiff and amateurish; in hindsight it was spookily accurate. That's what you get when your major fight scenes are between old guys and absentee special effects.
Too much acting to balls on sticks in front of green screens. I know the FX were state-of-the-art at the time, but Jeez, people. Accept that you can't make people interact believably with graphics and move on.
I hated the editing. Yes. The editing. The cuts back and forth between let's-call-them-narratives were just a little bit too tight on the dialogue and chopped off important bits of the sound before they were quite finished. Thanks to all the wipes they weren't exactly jump cuts, but they felt clumsy to me. Bad George.
Padme is shown operating the controls of the spaceship three times that I recall. On each occasion she presses the same button. Nice button; I'd like one of those. Maybe it was the Any Key.
Bored now.
(*) Han shoots first. And get all that extra crap off the screen. Husband once displayed touching sensitivity when he bought me a copy of the original theatrical release of Star Wars on DVD.
(**) I'm making that up.
