Open mouth, change feet

[stephbg]

I dedicate this post to emma_in_oz. I tried.

I am damp after a 20 minute wait for a bus, squeezed on a peak hour train. I'm feeling tired and headachy after a big day, vaguely nauseous after my Monday-morning coffee, and thinking seriously about my bladder. I'm clutching enough stuff to put a bag lady to shame, and my feet hurt. At eye level I suddenly notice a belly. A pregnant woman, standing on a crowded train right in front of me?



I wrestle briefly with my conscience. I really want my seat, but can't possibly leave her standing. But what if she's not pregnant? I wasn't about to make that sacrifice in vain. I make that fatal decision and ask:

"Excuse me. Are you pregnant?"

"What?"

"ARE YOU PREGNANT?"

I think we can all see where this is going *facepalm*. I can only hope I didn't ruin her day.

Later in the trip the seat next to me became empty, but she stayed on her feet. I closed my eyes and feigned death. With some aplomb, I might add. Anyone planning a remake of Weekend at Bernies?

On the bright side, I resisted the urge to apologise some more and blabber about how not-pregnant she actually looked, and how the cut of her coat wasn't doing her any favours. And so on.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, with a nice little shrubbery on the side.

Comments

[baby-elvis.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. Been there, done that - to someone I knew!

[emma-in-oz.livejournal.com]

nice thought though,

i feel better now than when pregnant as i can now walk without pain

[fe2h2o.livejournal.com]

I have completely forgotten to ask you about that! Glad to hear it:-)

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

That's good news. How did the registration go today?

[huckle.livejournal.com]

There is a girl at work who was quite slim. Then she got married and a little while later she suddenly stacked on weight and started wearing empire line drapey tops, and I unfortunately made the same mistake. She won't forget it. I have to work with her every day. Unfortunately I am now pretty sure she is pregnant (days off sick, sudden appearance of lots of healthy snacks on her desk, big breasts) but of course I just have to wait and feign great suprise when she makes the announcement.