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Let me eat cake
I made a cake today. In modern parlance it was The Cake Of Death, or it would have been if I'd added peanuts at some stage.
This was the most basic of basic cakes, and it came, reluctantly (because it's so obvious to everyone how to make a basic cake mix) from one of my beige cookbooks. It contained gluten (as in wheat flour), butter (from a cow!), milk (from a cow!), eggs (probably not from a cow), sugar (castor because I vaguely thought that might help), and OMG a pinch of salt! That's about it. Note the absence of additives, colours, flavours, preservatives, chocolate or special mystery ingredients that only Shop Bought Cakes contain.
And here it is:
Thank you![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rabbit1080 for the tip about using the gas stove as a cooling rack. Nothing exploded or caught fire, so I'll call it a win. Pity about the crack across the side, but most of it came up surprisingly even. I blame the fracture points on my less-than-perfect efforts to line a round cake tin with a square piece of frustratingly springy baking paper. Plus I probably should have rotated the whole thing about 5 minutes earlier, but on the whole I'm frankly astonished by its cake-like features.
Back when the beige thing started I acquired some cooking utensils because it seemed likely that I'd be doing more cooking from basic ingredients. Some of them have been languishing, shall we say, in the cupboard. Poor little cake tin; my urges tomake eat cakes have not been that strong. Not having a functioning oven for a while helped, and sometimes I ate plainish supermarket cake if it was at least free of (added) preservatives. So it's been years between bake-offs. Possibly decades.
Here's what it looked like on the inside:
Don't be too concerned about the colour; I had to compensate for light bouncing off the plate. The thing is, it was cooked absolutely evenly right through. Slightly crusty on top, and moist yet crumbly in the middle. No black bits were scraped off in the production of this item. I <3 my oven. I'm pretty sure this is the best texture I will ever achieve; it's all downhill, sinking, burning and sogging from now on.
The flavour was not spectacular, as you'd expect from such a basic recipe, but it did improve once the whole thing had cooled down and finished cooking. Cold cake was actually nicer than warm cake, go figure. It also took a couple of hours after the baking to regain my appetite. I'd forgotten what an effective appetite-suppressant cooking can be, although in hindsight I wish I'd left a bit more mix in the bowl and spoon to lick off afterwards. Raw cake mix FTW. Is there a practical limit on how much raw mix one can consume in a sitting? Or is it a social convention kind of thing? *tries not to think too hard about sugar and fat content*
Speaking of spoons, it cost me a few it's true, but I consider them well spent. I'm a little concerned I may feel the effects of a lot of small concentrated fast muscle movements in the next day or two, but them's the multitude of tiny muscle tears. If I do this again I may apply electricity, but I'm pretty sure the only way to cream butter and sugar is by hand. Maybe I'll let the microwave help me out a little, but not too much. And next time I'll try some radical (yet beige-friendly) experiment and add some vanilla, or maybe coffee. The same mix does for cupcakes, which might help with future distribution. The recipe had two eggs so I assume it would halve effectively, but I plan to consult before I try anything so radical.
I don't think the CWA has much to be concerned about. Nor Masterchef for that matter; I completely failed to sweat, sneeze, shed, cry, or otherwise moult into the mix. The cats slept through the whole thing.
This was the most basic of basic cakes, and it came, reluctantly (because it's so obvious to everyone how to make a basic cake mix) from one of my beige cookbooks. It contained gluten (as in wheat flour), butter (from a cow!), milk (from a cow!), eggs (probably not from a cow), sugar (castor because I vaguely thought that might help), and OMG a pinch of salt! That's about it. Note the absence of additives, colours, flavours, preservatives, chocolate or special mystery ingredients that only Shop Bought Cakes contain.
And here it is:
Thank you
rabbit1080 for the tip about using the gas stove as a cooling rack. Nothing exploded or caught fire, so I'll call it a win. Pity about the crack across the side, but most of it came up surprisingly even. I blame the fracture points on my less-than-perfect efforts to line a round cake tin with a square piece of frustratingly springy baking paper. Plus I probably should have rotated the whole thing about 5 minutes earlier, but on the whole I'm frankly astonished by its cake-like features. Back when the beige thing started I acquired some cooking utensils because it seemed likely that I'd be doing more cooking from basic ingredients. Some of them have been languishing, shall we say, in the cupboard. Poor little cake tin; my urges to
Here's what it looked like on the inside:
Don't be too concerned about the colour; I had to compensate for light bouncing off the plate. The thing is, it was cooked absolutely evenly right through. Slightly crusty on top, and moist yet crumbly in the middle. No black bits were scraped off in the production of this item. I <3 my oven. I'm pretty sure this is the best texture I will ever achieve; it's all downhill, sinking, burning and sogging from now on.
The flavour was not spectacular, as you'd expect from such a basic recipe, but it did improve once the whole thing had cooled down and finished cooking. Cold cake was actually nicer than warm cake, go figure. It also took a couple of hours after the baking to regain my appetite. I'd forgotten what an effective appetite-suppressant cooking can be, although in hindsight I wish I'd left a bit more mix in the bowl and spoon to lick off afterwards. Raw cake mix FTW. Is there a practical limit on how much raw mix one can consume in a sitting? Or is it a social convention kind of thing? *tries not to think too hard about sugar and fat content*
Speaking of spoons, it cost me a few it's true, but I consider them well spent. I'm a little concerned I may feel the effects of a lot of small concentrated fast muscle movements in the next day or two, but them's the multitude of tiny muscle tears. If I do this again I may apply electricity, but I'm pretty sure the only way to cream butter and sugar is by hand. Maybe I'll let the microwave help me out a little, but not too much. And next time I'll try some radical (yet beige-friendly) experiment and add some vanilla, or maybe coffee. The same mix does for cupcakes, which might help with future distribution. The recipe had two eggs so I assume it would halve effectively, but I plan to consult before I try anything so radical.
I don't think the CWA has much to be concerned about. Nor Masterchef for that matter; I completely failed to sweat, sneeze, shed, cry, or otherwise moult into the mix. The cats slept through the whole thing.
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As far as creaming butter/sugar goes, you can use an electric mixer...sort of, but by hand does a far better job.
Halving does work well - reduce cooking time by about 1/3rd, and use a smaller tin, or, if you have one, a metal ice tray with a removable insert to make a small loaf-cake.
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If you could send me the recipe some time, I would be happy to bake some cake for you, in full size or cupcake version. The even freeze well (not sure if freezing is beige friendly). I make a LOT of cupcakes, so it would be no trouble. Not that this one does not look awesome, but it might save in spoons :)
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Um .. you really dont have to cream the fat and sugar ... if you use an electric mixer, bung sifted flour, sugar and broken up fat - and any other additions in, then the eggs and liquid. Then mix until it changes colour - scraping the sides down as you go. The thing to remember is that the raising agent (baking powder, self-raising flour, whatever) starts to work as soon as it is wet, so make sure you dont take too long between mixing, putting in the pan and putting it in the oven. (ie have everything ready to go before you add liquid and start mixing.)
Cake making doesnt have to take many spoons .... except measuring spoons of course :)
(In fact, over-working the creaming stage damages the effect the egg has in building the matrix with the flour ... so quick machine mixing is potentially more effective.)
You possibly had your oven a little hot - the consistently brown edge all round the cake slice and the crack are indications that the outside cooked a little quicker than the inside - and did you succumb and open the oven door to check it at some point? The cooler air can cause cracks too. However, this looks like a classic madeira cake - which is meant to crack.
Not all ovens are consistent in their temperature control - you have to work it out over number of usages. If its a new oven (ie this century) you shouldnt have to turn the cake - it should cook evenly ... this again is something you learn by trial and error.
And I can make a whole meal of bowl scrapings .... :) Its the best bit. (um .. the kitties will like it too, if they discover it, so take care :) choccie cake - I once had a cat eat the top off a chocolate cake left to cool ...)
(I will put my cooking-teacher mother back in her box now .... brainwashed I am!)
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:D
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