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Someone's been taking evil lessons
Husband bought himself a present today. On the surface of it, it was a present for me; but like lingerie, it was really for him. He called it "homework" and he paid full price too.
Husband bought me my very own brand new shiny copy of Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.
"You said you were going to review it," he explained, "so I bought it."
"And I said I was going to borrow Middle Niece's copy," I responded with mild panic. What was he thinking? Did my beloved not know me at all? Was our entire marriage a sham? "You paid $25 for this? Are you insane?"
But then he said something that made everything all right with the world: "I want to hear the thud noise it's going to make when you throw it at the wall. Again and again."
Aaaawwww, so sweet. It's going to be tough though, so I threatened to read excerpts aloud; he said he was looking forward to it. "Right then," said I, opening the thing at random and scanning for suitably pithy bits of prose. Let's just say I was both spoiled for choice and educated all in one go. He was amused.
It didn't hit the wall; I've never actually done that to a book, but it did travel a couple of feet in response to my reflexive action. I'm not looking forward to this. He is.
Husband bought me my very own brand new shiny copy of Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.
"You said you were going to review it," he explained, "so I bought it."
"And I said I was going to borrow Middle Niece's copy," I responded with mild panic. What was he thinking? Did my beloved not know me at all? Was our entire marriage a sham? "You paid $25 for this? Are you insane?"
But then he said something that made everything all right with the world: "I want to hear the thud noise it's going to make when you throw it at the wall. Again and again."
Aaaawwww, so sweet. It's going to be tough though, so I threatened to read excerpts aloud; he said he was looking forward to it. "Right then," said I, opening the thing at random and scanning for suitably pithy bits of prose. Let's just say I was both spoiled for choice and educated all in one go. He was amused.
It didn't hit the wall; I've never actually done that to a book, but it did travel a couple of feet in response to my reflexive action. I'm not looking forward to this. He is.
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but does it count as a real book?
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I had - not that I've finished my attempt to write such an entertainment myself - rather suffered from Meyer-envy! You are putting paid to that emotion. Replacing that emotion is trepidation. If I do manage to finish my book and those that follow it and find a publisher - just what will my friends say! I shall have to use a pseudonym in order to know - but perhaps I'd rather not know after all.
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