Steph, you didn't 'kill' Pumpkin. You loving, and selflessly, released him pain, suffering, and slow passing to death. You and your husband went above and beyond the call of duty, and performed almost Herculean efforts to make Pumpkin weller, and it worked for a while.

But I think he told you "Mummy, it's time", and you heeded that.

And as with your dad, you still have my sympathy, shoulders, ears and keyboard at your disposal.