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I know it sounds crazy, but...
A funny thing happened during this afternoon's massage. Several funny things actually, even by my usual excitingly bizarre physical standards. Problem is I'm struggling to think of a way to describe it that doesn't sound crazy. Crazy like "I have superpowers!" or "The spirit is with me!" :-(
Shortish (ha!) version of most exciting bit: Near the end of a fairly harrowing massage session I finally experienced a moment of stillness and relaxation during the scalp massage part (I remember wishing for a teddy bear to cuddle). Then a bolt of something exploded through my hip (seat of the shingly nerve), I twitched (convulsed?) violently, my head whipped around, and my therapist N got the fright of her life. Then she said that when it happened she felt something very intense pass through her hands. It was painful for a few moments, but then cleared. She struggled to describe the sensation (over and above the expected adrenaline reaction to a sudden and violent movement), but eventually said it felt like being close to a lightning strike. Not like a direct electrical charge, but more of an atmospheric sonic boomy kind of thing (?????)
We often bond over WTFery. She does something; I report unrelated sensations. I ask her if my toes are moving, because often I'm not really sure what they're up to. Sometimes she reports seeing Things moving under my skin.
I think today's incident might be related to a useful skill I've picked up over many years of really odd illness and painful treatment: a kind of relaxed focus as seen in gurus, circus freaks, kung fu masters, and exorcists. It's come in handy now and then to buffer against pain or unpleasant medical procedures, and I used to feel it doing the pitifully little Chow Gar (Kung Fu) and Tai Chi I learned many years ago. Chi, by any other name I guess. It's handy with horses too. Haven't seen much of it the last six months or so.
Today I think it went off by accident. Oops. Earlier today it distressed me to think I had so much potential energy trapped in this stupidly sick pathetic body, but now I think it's *awesome* that I have so much potential energy trapped in this stupidly sick pathetic body. I just have to keep looking for it. Unblock my energies. Release my spirit. Yeah.
Coming soon: Snake charming! Curing the lame! Casting out demons! Chopping through iceblocks! Catching arrows with my teeth! Working for a living! Bathing regularly! Checking the letterbox! Lifting glasses of water by the power of my arm alone!
Shortish (ha!) version of most exciting bit: Near the end of a fairly harrowing massage session I finally experienced a moment of stillness and relaxation during the scalp massage part (I remember wishing for a teddy bear to cuddle). Then a bolt of something exploded through my hip (seat of the shingly nerve), I twitched (convulsed?) violently, my head whipped around, and my therapist N got the fright of her life. Then she said that when it happened she felt something very intense pass through her hands. It was painful for a few moments, but then cleared. She struggled to describe the sensation (over and above the expected adrenaline reaction to a sudden and violent movement), but eventually said it felt like being close to a lightning strike. Not like a direct electrical charge, but more of an atmospheric sonic boomy kind of thing (?????)
We often bond over WTFery. She does something; I report unrelated sensations. I ask her if my toes are moving, because often I'm not really sure what they're up to. Sometimes she reports seeing Things moving under my skin.
I think today's incident might be related to a useful skill I've picked up over many years of really odd illness and painful treatment: a kind of relaxed focus as seen in gurus, circus freaks, kung fu masters, and exorcists. It's come in handy now and then to buffer against pain or unpleasant medical procedures, and I used to feel it doing the pitifully little Chow Gar (Kung Fu) and Tai Chi I learned many years ago. Chi, by any other name I guess. It's handy with horses too. Haven't seen much of it the last six months or so.
Today I think it went off by accident. Oops. Earlier today it distressed me to think I had so much potential energy trapped in this stupidly sick pathetic body, but now I think it's *awesome* that I have so much potential energy trapped in this stupidly sick pathetic body. I just have to keep looking for it. Unblock my energies. Release my spirit. Yeah.
Coming soon: Snake charming! Curing the lame! Casting out demons! Chopping through iceblocks! Catching arrows with my teeth! Working for a living! Bathing regularly! Checking the letterbox! Lifting glasses of water by the power of my arm alone!